Dear Neighbor, Drop Dead by Saralee Rosenberg

Author:Saralee Rosenberg
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub, pdf
ISBN: 9780061842986
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2011-09-10T03:40:11.993000+00:00

After Karen finally packed up and left, Mindy looked at the mess in the kitchen and said screw it until morning. After the day she’d had, she was entitled to take a hot shower, climb into bed with a big bowl of Lucky Charms, and watch last night’s American Idol on Tivo.

But just as she armed the alarm, she spotted a tall figure with a fast gait approaching the back door. Please be a burglar, she thought.

“Sorry to bother you.” Beth coughed. “You must be exhausted.”

“Comatose is more like it.” She yawned for effect, but stared at Beth as if she was catching a rare glimpse of a lunar eclipse. She looked so homely without hair and makeup, and dare Mindy say, old?

“I can’t believe how much happened today,” Beth fidgeted, looking over Mindy’s shoulder to see if any of her kids were still up.

“Yup.” Please make this short. I’m so tired and I want my Lucky Charms.

“Could we talk?”

Crap! What if the windows in the den were open and she’d heard everything? “Sure.”

What little time Beth had spent in this kitchen, her routine was to wipe the crumbs off the chairs and check for food on the floor. Tonight, however, out of respect, she refrained from making faces. “So how was it? Did she have nice stuff?”

“I guess, but I’m probably not the best judge. I don’t pay enough attention to the real bags to know if the fakes are any good.”

“Looked like you had a lot of people though. Did she sell enough to shut David up?”

“It took a while, but most people ended up buying something. And then this one lady showed up with her daughter and bought like ten bags so that was good, but oh my god, was she obnoxious. I heard she got into Penn early decision, but obviously it wasn’t based on a personal interview or using SAT words. All she said was, ‘ew, gross’ and ‘um, noooo.’”

“Sounds about right. So what did you pick out for you?”

“This.” Mindy fetched the Chanel bag. “Karen said it’s the hottest thing.”

“Wow!” Beth examined it with the eye of a jeweler. “It’s a great fake. You can’t even tell.”

“I guess that’s the whole idea, not that I understand why anyone would spend a ton of money on a designer bag that’s as mass produced as the ones I get at Target. And don’t hate me for saying this, but every time I see someone wearing Coach or Louis Vuitton, I think, wow, you just gave me permission to judge you. You’re insecure, shallow, you can’t think for yourself—”

“Really. So if one day I gave you one of my Michael Kors bags, you’d say no thanks?”

“Well no, I guess not. I mean I like nice things too, but—”

“Richard is leaving me!” Beth blurted. “He took a job at Nike just like you said.”

“What? Mindy had to let that sink in. “Oh my God!”

“Mommmm!” Stacie yelled. “Tell the little bee-ach to get out of my room. I don’t have her freakin’ iPod!”

“Sorry, hold on.

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